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Rethink the stigma on mental health...
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Who Am I If I Let Go Of My Pain?

11/20/2021

1 Comment

 
We are so much more than we know. The divine eternal spark of love, light and hope lives within us. This is true for all souls and all of us who are embodied here on the Earth, and yet so often life our daily life feels so far from this.

There are some difficult or traumatic events that shape us profoundly to the very core of our being. Some are personal or family events and some are larger global events that affect us deeply.
When pain enters our life, there are coping mechanisms within us that help us to get through the time of difficulty. If the trauma is very deep, or goes on for a very long time, our coping mechanisms can solidify and form a protective layer around us. These eventually become assimilated into our identity, so that we no longer feel the pain of the traumatic events. Our coping mechanisms help us to move forward into life, despite difficult circumstances.

These ways of coping with pain are intended to support us in times of difficulty. They are not intended to become solidified into an entire way of life, however in the absence of the love and light that are needed to foster healing, we may become entrenched in the old defenses. It is possible to go through life with an emotional and energetic suit of armor, which protects us and allows us to function, but which does not allow for a greater level of intimacy or emotional connection with others.

In this kind of situation, the emotional, physical and energetic patterns of self protection can become so much a part of us that we no longer know of any other options. Like a fish who does not realize that he is in water, because he knows of no other options, we remain in the only environment we have known, not realizing there is any other possibility.

Under these circumstances our identity and sense of who we are shapes itself around our defensive patterning. Without realizing it, we become our coping mechanisms. This can continue for a shorter or a longer period of time, until such time as our inner being feels safe enough to begin to explore other possibilities.

When the time comes that life shows us that we don't need to continue in these old patterns, it is possible that we find ourselves afraid to let go of our defenses. In some ways, our emotional armoring was familiar, and provided a sense of safety. To think of letting this go can provoke feelings of panic or even terror, even if another part of us wants to move forward and free ourselves.

One of the reasons this can be so difficult is because our defenses became, for a time, a part of identity. When we begin to let these go, suddenly it can feel as though our very self is on the line. The question becomes, who am I if I let go of my pain? Like standing on the cliff, looking down into the abyss, it can feel like there is nothing and no one to catch us if we dare to let go of holding on.

In reality, there is a natural rhythm and flow to our inner lives, so when we reach the point of being willing to open to new possibilities, new supports become available, so that we are not alone in facing our fears. It could be a new friendship or relationship, an inner sense of greater trust, or other kinds of supports that reveal themselves and help us to have the courage to open to the new and to let go of our past defenses.

In this way, we are helped to move forward in our life's journey, and to gradually come to know more of who we are as divine eternal beings of love. When we have the courage and faith to release our hold on old ways of perceiving ourselves, a new world opens before us and reveals choices we would have previously only dreamed about. By releasing our hold on the pain, and by releasing the ways we have protected ourselves against the pain, we are born anew into a new realm of love and possibility.
1 Comment
JAMIE L WILKINS
4/22/2022 10:11:46 pm

First I wanna say this
Right off jump
I'm not sorry for anything
I may say pertaining to this
See for too long
I have aloud you to treat me
Like I'm a scab
You just pick
and
throw away
in the trash
Then
You go grab a rag and you've wipe all my blood off from stomping on me over the years
And you throw that away in the trash as well
Like I guess you can say
That's the kind of cloth I'm cut from
Right?
And maybe just maybe
That's why I'm always looking all f***** up and bummie
like I been rummaging around through the trash
so
I Guess the proof is in the pudding right
Like when I was addicted to taking all them crack hits all them nights
You had my demons tell me
The good ones in the push
Right?
They said wait til after you take your hit a few times
And when you run outta crack at the end of the night
That's when you push it
Looking back
I'm like
WHAT THE F*** WAS I THINKING
Only thing I should of ever pushed
Was myself to get clean
And you up outta
see
You took everything from me in my life
And when I say EVERYTHING
I mean absof***inglutely
EVERYTHING
Even the most beautiful woman to ever come into my life
Our Heather Nichole Akers
You member her don't you addiction?
She was the one I loved more than you
She was the one who was my eve
You was just the snake in our garden of eden
See you had to jump on her while you could I know
ALL while I was in prison
Doing nothing but constantly
Missing her and Ethan
And see I know you all to well
That's when you sink your teeth in
Cuz had I been out
When it came to your needle and s***
I just wouldn't let her listen to you
By the time I came home
She was already
Off the deep end
Barely hanging on
I swear to you and everyone
Where the front lines of WAR is
Is hell
I know you affect everyone
But when it's just us
You she and I face to face
Behind every closed door
Alotta pushing comes to shoving
Things get very hectic
When you fighting Satan head on
For the only one
You ever wanna be loving
Wasn't 6 months in
You came through and took a huge bite with your pointed needle
fangs out
See
I hate you addiction
I promise you
I'm gonna speak for her
And so many others
So much
That you and your good ol buddy alcohol are gonna take y'all a long a**
hike
Like for good and s***
Cuz I know I be talking like I'm cussing alot
But see
You already got the ones before us
I'm trying to reach them ones
Who don't know about you
You know them ones
You be plotting
and
scheming on
But you still ain't got
And
I swear to you as Im ten toes still standing free from my wack a** crack addiction
I know you be tugging at my strings with all other types of your family members
You thought I ain't know bout all them other types of addictions did you
See I know I'm only 42
But I been around the block
I'm fact
Cuz of you
I was homeless
alot on the block
Running round
So many times coming close as a b**** to getting shot
You almost had me
I'll give you that much
But see the day you came through tried to take my boo
Lol
I wish I could of seen the look on you ugly retched face when
the good Lord came through
and you was F*****
Cuz her mama and her daddy done already made a deal
A deal that has been so many years prayed upon
Cuz Jesus knew
as BEAUTIFUL of an angel as she is
He knew you was gonna try some slick s***
It's always the good ones who get preyed upon

That's why when you
TRIED
to come and take her away
Wanting her
to make her own way to you
By taking her own life
Leading her straight to hell
Pricking herself
No repunzel
Motherf*****
Let me tell you
Our girl
The Lord's angel of a child
Was rescued in the seconds you was slowly creeping in through her veins
At the end of that day
She may have passed
But ADDICTION
That was the day of the beginning
Of your last
See you may have sideswiped me a lil bit
Well maybe alot
You really f***** me up alot
But now it's different
I got Jesus
I got Heather up in Heaven
And a whole bunch of people
Ready to go to war
Standing beside
This once lost
Child of God
I'm telling you
If I can help it
You will never take another
Child of God
So with that said
I'm gonna end it with this
F*** YOU ADDICTION
I want you to know this
This is the end of you in me and the start of the ending of your whole f****** existence
Satan I rebuke you
Father forgive me for my words had to be as sharp as your sword
It's the only way we will ever kill off Satan and his whore

ADDICTION
I'll see you on the front lines
I'll be the one with all the world behind me
I'm hoping anyway
Cuz if not
Then it's just me
Like it's been for so many years
Well not just me
I've had some help
Well alotta help
Jesus has carried me by the hand
Led me outta you neverending quick sand
So now here I stand
I'm telling you
Alotta saving is gonna happen
So much
It's gonna be like
Hand and foot
Then all we gotta do
Is teach em to put
That foot in front of the other
And so on
so we can all
Rid the world of you
And save
Every living thing you ever preyed on

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  • Home
  • INTERACT
    • A.L.L. Support Method
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  • LEARN
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