We all know that it is in one's highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life.

Yet grief is not always healing. Many of us have known people who were stuck in their grief, seemingly locked into the past and unable to move forward in their lives.

What is the difference between those who feel their grief and move on and those who get stuck in it? The difference lies in what they believe they have lost. When people believe they have lost their source of love, their grief will feel unending.

​Do you trust your feelings and take action for yourself based on your feelings? Many of us grew up learning to mistrust our feelings. "Don't be ridiculous," my mother often said to me when I asked her why she was angry. "I'm not angry," she would say with anger in her voice. "Don't be ridiculous" was what I often heard in response to many of my feelings. So I learned to mistrust my feelings. It took me many years of inner work to regain trust in my feelings.

​Feelings are information. Our feelings such as anger, anxiety, depression, and hurt are letting us know that we are telling ourselves something that is not true, or treating ourselves in unloving ways. Our uncomfortable or lonely feelings around another person may be telling us that the other person is being judgmental, needy, angry, blaming or inauthentic.

Are you aware of your inner voice? Do you pay attention to it? I'm not talking about the one who puts you down by the way! I'm talking about the one that softly whispers ideas and suggestions to you; the kind that the other voice might shout down, crying, "Are you mad?" That requires stepping out of our comfort zone, and that is to be avoided at all costs! (even if the cost is living a life of mediocrity instead of the one of your dreams)

Sadly, the latter voice is the one most of us are aware of and pay attention to. The more gentle one, that is our intuition, is often ignored; that is if we're hearing what it tells us at all. The great pity here is that it's our intuition that really has our best interests at heart. Our gremlin (the louder, more aggressive voice) does have our welfare at heart too, but in a protective way. The intuition's way is more expansive.

Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Who or what do you believe is responsible for your emotional wellbeing?

Stress has become the main problem of our century. Through stress we develop a series of both physical and mental illnesses that leave their mark on our personal development. Stress is hard to manage. It is practically our biggest enemy, an enemy who does not want to be so easily defeated. It is always present, more or less.
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But like any other person in this world, I have a number of techniques that help me cope more easily with these complicated and contradictory feelings. These techniques don't completely solve the problem, but at least they make it easier to endure.