When we drop judgments we become more clear on who we are and what we are really doing. Let me give you an example:
When a parent tells a child off, one of the judgments a parent has is that, if I don't tell them off they're always going to do that naughty thing. Yet often when a child does that naughty thing all they have is an unfulfilled need at that moment - and usually it's connection to love.
Whenever I successfully manage not to avoid judging my kids behavior love flows. Recently my daughter stuck her tongue out at me when I asked her to do something - bless her. I walked away, admiring her strong spirit and hiding a smile. Later I asked her if I could stick my tongue out at her. She nodded. She then told me she didn't like it very much.
We agreed, just for a moment - in the name of fun - we'd both give each other permission to stick our tongues out at each other. We ended up rolling around the floor laughing. She said, 'But dad, dad, you haven't seen my angriest face yet.'
'Go on,' I said.
So she pulled her angriest face and we both howled with laughter, tears rolling over our cheeks and clutching our tummies in a way we've probably never done before.
Had I judged her for sticking her tongue out we'd have missed that wonderful opportunity. We'd also have missed moments when we've brought up the memories of that time when we stuck out our tongues.
I hasten to add, she's not stuck her tongue out at me in anger since - fingers crossed for the future, eh?
What releasing judgment does is this: it takes us from a place of acting out a drama. It then puts us in a situation of knowing and understanding.
Releasing judgment is the difference between fighting the evils of our life and seeing them as opportunities to grow.
That might all sound easier said than done. But when we understand that each event in our life is a calling to return to who we really are we become more conscious of why it's happening. How we experience what happens shows us how where we are on that journey.
Ultimately all any of us want is to feel love. Dropping judgment is a huge step.
Here's a few tips
1. When anything causes you emotional turmoil just pause, let go of any judgments and imagine you have let it all go.
2. Feel the weight lift from your shoulders.
3 Take a deep breath
4. Now ask yourself how can I handle this with love?